I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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