You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
