I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Come on in and take your pants off
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
