i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
