dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
