Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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