Just cropdusted the office
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
