u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
