Kiss
Puke
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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