You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
