I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
