you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
