Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
