I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
