I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
