we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
