I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
