Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
