hotel room ftw
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
