Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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