I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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