just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
