i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
