Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
