Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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