Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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