i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
