Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
