I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
