Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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