I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
this will be a night to untag.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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