Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
