Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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