4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
