I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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