What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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