Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
