Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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