I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
