I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
