Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
