i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
