as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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