so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
