I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
