Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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