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• (207): View more from Maine

  i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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• (559): View more from California

  she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.

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