these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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