Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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