Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
