How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
