Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
