My first STD was from a foam party
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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